Pregnancy loss: reducing stigma and how sharing can heal

Published in March of Dimes on October 28, 2024

Pregnancy loss is a deeply personal and private experience.

It impacts far more families than we realize. Yet, the pain is rarely talked about, leaving many to feel like they have to grieve alone. The stigma surrounding pregnancy loss can make it hard for parents to share their experiences, but talking about it is an important step toward healing. 

What is pregnancy loss and why the stigma? 

Pregnancy loss includes miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal loss, and recurring loss–where parents experience multiple miscarriages. In fact, 10 to 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, and about 1% of women experience recurrent miscarriages (three or more losses in a row).  

Pressure from society often adds to this stigma. We expect pregnancy to be a time of joy, so when things don’t go as planned, parents may feel like they’ve failed. In some cultures, superstitions about sharing early pregnancies make it even harder to talk about loss when it happens. 

The silence can come from a fear of making others uncomfortable, but it only makes the emotional weight worse for those affected.

The emotional weight of pregnancy loss 

Pregnancy loss can lead to a range of emotions–sadness, grief, anger, confusion, and guilt. Well-meaning comments like, “You can try again” or “At least it happened early” can make parents feel like their grief isn’t valid. 

Guilt and self-blame are also challenging. Parents, especially moms, may wonder if they did something wrong. Thoughts like, “Did I exercise too much?” or “Was it my fault because I was stressed?” are common. Staying silent about pregnancy loss only makes feelings of guilt worse, so it’s important to remember that loss isn’t anyone’s fault. Most of the time, pregnancy loss happens because of factors that we can’t fully control such as genetic conditions.

How sharing can heal

Talking about loss helps break the stigma, turning shame into connection and understanding. While sharing will never take away the pain families feel, it allows them to feel seen, understood, and supported. By breaking the silence, we create a compassionate space for anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss, reminding them they are not alone. 

If you have experienced pregnancy loss, you and your family can get help as you grieve from your provider, a social worker, a grief counselor or a support group.