What I learned analyzing data from my first year postpartum

Parenting is a full-time job. The system needs to catch up | 8 min read Published in Motherly

For 15 years, I’ve worked in consulting, strategy, and operations for large healthcare organizations. A large part of what I do is gathering data and evidence to achieve business goals – to secure funds to invest in underserved areas, streamline internal processes to make things easier for teams, and improve customer satisfaction. 

I started collecting new data about my daughter from the day she was born. The hospital gave my husband and I a log where we tracked her first days of life, like feeding times, sleep, and diaper changes. 

I documented a lot more data throughout her first year of life. I tracked her day care attendance. I used apps to log newborn data and visits to the pediatrician. I also tracked my own fitness and wellness activities. 

It wasn’t until I analyzed that first year of data when I truly appreciated the level of effort required to raise a baby. It made sense why so many new parents, especially working parents, are burnt out. It highlighted how our systems–employers, governments, and healthcare–have failed to provide new parents the support they need after having a baby.

Analyzing the Data

Finding #1: Being a new parent is a full-time job 

Caring for a newborn requires significant time, energy, and attention. We become new parents without any formal training, yet are expected to become fast experts in feeding, swaddling, and helping babies reach developmental milestones like sitting up and rolling over. 

How much time is actually required to take care of a newborn?

In the first month alone, my husband and I spent nearly 60 hours a week on caregiving tasks. For her first 3 months, our daughter required hourly attention. Frequent feedings led to more diaper changes. Her sleep patterns were unpredictable, so we had to soothe her around the clock. On top of this, she saw her pediatrician regularly 10 times in her first year–and that was just for well visits. 

Even after our baby started sleeping through the night at 3 months, we dedicated more than 20 hours a week on caregiving. When she started daycare at 9 months, caregiving dropped to about 8 hours a week.

Time spent on caregiving (# hours)

This doesn’t include the time we spent researching, buying, and mastering new baby gear, ranging from electric breast pumps to car seats and strollers. It doesn’t include the extra visits to the pediatrician and urgent care for recurring ear infections, abnormally high fevers, and a peanut allergy. And let’s not forget all the chores–cleaning bottles, dealing with diaper blowouts, and staying on top of laundry. The mental load of parenthood is undeniably heavy. 

Finding #2: Breastfeeding is a major adjustment, especially if you have a low milk supply 

Breastfeeding turned out to be the most significant source of stress for me postpartum. While I was incredibly grateful I could breastfeed for the immune benefits and to bond with my baby, I had no idea how much it would impact my daily life and overall mental well-being. 

My daily routine revolved around feeding and pumping schedules. I lost sleep for middle-of-the night feeds. Because I exclusively breastfed, I was under immense pressure to produce enough milk each day. I had to plan in advance anytime I wanted to hang out with a friend for more than 3 hours. Spilling a bottle of freshly expressed milk would push me over the edge. I suffered from painful clogged milk ducts and mastitis. 

I kept going for 9 months and it became even more taxing as my milk supply dipped those final months. To make sure my baby received enough milk, I nursed for extended periods. During the first 2 months, I spent 23 hours a week between breastfeeding and pumping. Even after dropping nighttime feeds, this amounted to 16 hours a week, until I eventually transitioned to formula feeding.

Finding #3: Babies get far more healthcare support in their first year than new parents

Before her first birthday, our daughter had eight well visits with her pediatrician. They closely monitored her growth, development, and overall health. In her first month, she also had 5 appointments with a lactation specialist until her weight stabilized. 

I was well-supported during pregnancy, with 12 routine prenatal visits with my Ob physician. But after birth, I only had 1 visit 6 weeks postpartum. Fortunately, my pregnancy and delivery were uncomplicated, making it a routine checkup. My Ob checked my vitals, performed a physical exam, asked a few questions about my mental health, and cleared me for sexual intercourse. 

My husband didn’t have a single visit with his primary care physician during the entire first year after our baby was born.

Our healthcare system prioritizes the baby’s health despite the fact that one in every five moms (and one in every 10 dads) suffer from a perinatal mood and health disorder.

Healthcare support

 (# visits during the first year postpartum)

Finding #4: Babies get sick (a lot) in their first year, especially if they are in daycare 

My daughter started daycare at 8 months old. 

There are so many benefits to childcare–it allowed me and my husband to fully focus on our jobs, regain some personal time, and played a crucial role in our daughter’s social and emotional development. 

But what caught us off guard were the frequent sick days and how disruptive they were to our work schedules. In her first month alone, our daughter missed 7 out of 21 days of daycare due to fever. The interruptions persisted, and over her first 5 months of daycare, she missed a total of 18 days (or roughly 1 out of every 5 days).

Daycare attendance (missed days in red)

Finding #5: Self-care and wellness take a serious hit for new parents

Health and wellness have always been a huge part of my life. Before becoming a mom, I enjoyed 8 hours of sleep each night, exercised regularly, ate a clean diet, and took care of my mental wellbeing. I knew these aspects of my life would take a major hit as I transitioned to motherhood. 

During the first 2 months after our baby’s arrival, I slept a total of 4-5 hours a night (non-continuously) because she needed to be fed every 2-3 hours. Thankfully, my sleep patterns normalized when she started sleeping through the night at 11 weeks. 

I also scaled back significantly on exercise. Before becoming a parent, I spent nearly 2 hours a week on medium to high-intensity activities like running, biking, strength training, and yoga. After having a baby, I had limited time and energy. It was also painful to run or get back on the bike since I suffered from a second-degree tear from childbirth. Consequently, I had to shift to low-impact exercises like yoga and meditation. Exercising for 30 minutes a week felt like a win. 

Finally, I felt the toll on my mental health. I started to burn out from juggling the new demands of motherhood after I returned to work. I didn’t feel present for my daughter, husband, or myself. Things only improved when I made the decision to leave my job at 9 months.

Sleep pre- and post-delivery

Note: Data before birth is taken 12 months before to represent true physical capacity (before pregnancy)

Exercise pre- and post-delivery

Note: Data before birth is taken 12 months before to represent true physical capacity (before pregnancy)

A Year of Transformation 

My first year postpartum was a period of significant change. Becoming a new parent is the greatest gift of my life and it turned out to be the biggest role transition I’ve ever experienced. 

My health and wellness took a dip initially, but certain decisions helped me regain my self-care routine and settle into motherhood on my own terms. 

The biggest change I made was leaving my job when my baby was 9 months old. I worked full-time for over 15 years, but taking a career break was the only way I could reclaim the time and mental space I needed to focus on myself.  

I also sought help from a pelvic floor physical therapist with the goal of being able to run continuously for 3 miles again. She taught me exercises and stretches that gradually rebuilt my pelvic floor and surrounding muscles. After three months of work, I finally achieved my goal and could run again.  

Perhaps the most valuable investment I made for my well-being was seeking direct support for my mental health. I didn’t suffer from postpartum depression, but I wasn’t feeling like my usual self either. I was constantly exhausted. I experienced heightened levels of anxiety and was easily irritated. I carried a sense of guilt for not doing enough. 

At 8 weeks postpartum, I joined a peer support group. I connected with other new moms who faced similar challenges, which made me feel less alone. My husband and I met with our couples therapist to navigate the new challenges of parenthood and strengthen our relationship. I also worked with a life coach to help me process my transition to motherhood, reevaluate my priorities (including my job), and be more intentional about shaping the life I wanted moving forward. 

I recognize I’m privileged to take a career break and access these resources. But these changes made all the difference in helping me become the confident and sturdy mother I’ve always aspired to be. 

Everyone’s postpartum experience is different, but one thing is clear: it’s hard work. The journey becomes even tougher when you’re working full-time and lack the necessary support and resources. 

Taking a closer look at the data from that first year made me realize just how much effort goes into this life-changing transition. It also revealed the shortcomings in our systems in the United States – healthcare, government, and employers – in adequately supporting new moms and parents during this major time of transition.

My experience is just one data point. But we all have a role to play. We need to share our individual experiences and challenges widely.

We need to demand more support from our governments, employers, and healthcare systems in order to make real, sustainable improvements.