A call to action to help new moms
Parenting is a full-time job. The system needs to catch up | 8 min read
Introduction
I published this article in Motherly sharing my reflections on my first year postpartum.
Here’s what I learned:
Being a new parent is a full-time job
Breastfeeding is a major adjustment, especially if you have a low milk supply
Babies get far more healthcare support in their first year than new parents
Babies get sick (a lot) in their first year, especially if they are in daycare
Self-care and wellness take a serious hit for new parents
Everyone’s postpartum experience is different, but one thing is clear: it’s hard work. The journey is even tougher when you’re working full-time and lack the necessary support and resources.
This opened my eyes to how our systems in the United States – healthcare, government, and employers – are failing to support new moms and parents during this major time of transition.
A Call to Action
Every new parent deserves the time to bond with their baby and adjust to parenthood. New moms and parents deserve the systemic support and the infrastructure to help them thrive:
Mental health support for new parents: Becoming a new parent can bring immense joy, but it’s also a vulnerable time markedwith significant mood shifts throughout the journey. Our healthcare system prioritizes the baby’s health despite the fact that 1 in every 5 new moms (and 1 in every 10 dads) suffer from a perinatal mental health disorder. Mental health support–like peer support groups, therapists, and psychiatrists–need to be a standard part of postpartum care. What we really need is a system of care that treats the whole person, not just their physical health. A good example is the collaborative care model in primary care that integrates care navigators, behavioral, and mental health services to ensure patients receive quality and timely interventions.
Paid parental leave: The United States is the only country among 41 nations that doesn’t mandate paid parental leave at the federal level. Typically, employers provide 6 to 12 weeks of paid leave, but 9 months would be ideal for both mothers and fathers. It took me 3 months, when our baby started sleeping through the night, to feel like I could truly bond with her. It took me another 3 months to fully recover physically, adapt to my new lifestyle, and embrace motherhood. New parents need time to take care of themselves so they can be present for their family and job. Furthermore, adequate paternity leave promotes gender equity at the home when it comes to sharing caregiving and domestic responsibilities.
Flexible workplace policies: Beyond paid leave, parents need greater support from their employers. Parenting is a long game that comes with continuous changes and disruptions, particularly in the first year of a child’s life, which comes with many unplanned sick days. Caring for a sick baby is already emotionally and mentally draining. Employers can offer additional PTO days and flexible hours to support new caregivers. Employee assistance programs can help ease the transition, by providing access to professional help like coaching, career counseling, and financial advisory services.
Breastfeeding support in the workplace: While the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends breastfeeding for the first 2 years, it's not practical especially for most working moms. Breastfeeding and pumping take up a significant amount of time (it consumed 24 hours a week for me). Finding the time to pump during a packed work day is challenging, and finding a private, judge-free place to pump in the office is even harder. The recently passed Providing Urgent Maternal Protections for Nursing Mothers Act (the PUMP Act) will help increase accommodations for breastfeeding moms at work. But it’s up to employers to translate this policy into practice.
Support for transitioning to parenthood and childcare: Taking care of a newborn is a full-time job. When you’re a working parent, it feels like you're working two jobs at once. During those early months, doulas and lactation specialists can offer crucial emotional support and help new parents build important caregiving skills. Having reliable child care gives new parents the time they need to focus on work while knowing their child is well-cared for. However, childcare and direct postpartum support can be expensive and inaccessible for many families: 80% of families struggle with the high cost of childcare, and 51% live in childcare deserts. Our health insurance companies, governments, and employers can help subsidize these costs.
To improve the experience for new moms and parents, we need systemic change. My experience is just one data point. But we all have a role to play. We need to share our individual experiences and challenges widely. We need to demand more support from our governments, employers, and healthcare systems in order to make real, sustainable improvements.
Parenthood is a gift and every new mother and father deserve the opportunity to bond with their baby and thrive in their first year.
