Honoring all emotions on mother’s day
Introduction
Becoming a mom has brought immense joy to my life.
It is also the hardest and most important job I’ve ever had.
Both sides can coexist. That’s what makes motherhood, and the journey it takes to get there, so beautiful. As a mom to two young children—a 2.5 year old girl and 16 week old boy—no other experience has taught me more about myself.
Today, I’m grateful to celebrate my third Mother’s Day.
Motherhood is a complex journey of emotions. My therapist encourages me to honor them all, even the difficult ones, as each holds valuable lessons for personal growth.
So, on this Mother’s Day, I reflect on the most profound emotions I’ve experienced with my children so far.
Honoring all emotions on Mother’s Day
In the frustrating times:
When she only wants dessert after I’ve spent 2 hours making her a new recipe.
When she keeps wrestling out of a diaper change and it’s time to go to daycare.
When he spits up breast milk after a feeding.
When she wants to watch the same Bounce Patrol video about animals 5 times in a row.
In the exhausting times:
When I have to pop his pacifier back in for the fourth time in the middle of the night.
When she wants me to play with her and I just want some quiet time to myself.
When it takes half an hour to soothe him for a nap that lasts for only 10 minutes.
In the overwhelming times:
When I have to solo parent because my husband is out of town.
When she is sent home from daycare with a fever on a day I have back-to-back meetings.
When she spirals into a tantrum because I put on the yellow shirt, not the blue shirt.
When I’m trying to get dinner on the table, we’ve entered witching hour, and she’s hangry.
When she had her first major accident while potty training
In the bittersweet times:
When she asks for extra cuddles because she’s not feeling well.
When he drops a nighttime feed and I lose that hour of one-on-one snuggles with him.
When she ‘wants to do it herself’ and no longer needs my help for simple tasks.
In the exciting times:
When I held both of them for the first time after they were born.
When she slept through the night for the first time.
When he giggled for the first time because I kissed his cheek.
When she strings together new sentences to express how she feels.
When she tells me, ‘Thank you, Mommy, for the dinner’.
When she peed in the potty for the first time and beamed
In the happy times
When she hears her favorite song (currently Roar by Katy Perry) and moves her whole body to dance.
When I hold his hand during a walk outside in the carrier.
When she sings any song.
When he catches me looking at his sweet face and smiles.
When we go to the grocery store together and I watch her explore the aisles with wonder.
When she shows kindness and compassion to others who are having a tough time.
When I hear him giggling when daddy tickles him.
When she gives him a kiss on the forehead first thing in the morning.
The transition to motherhood is empowering
In the short time I’ve been a mom, I’ve gone through a major self-discovery process.
Motherhood has taught me to let go of perfection and control.
Motherhood has taught me to set boundaries and ask for help.
Motherhood has taught me that it’s OK (and essential) to rest.
Motherhood has taught me to advocate for myself, to practice self-compassion, and give myself grace when things don’t go as planned.
Being a mom is truly a gift. I believe every mom deserves the time to bond with their baby and become the mom they want to be during this transition.
But too few moms in this country get that privilege.
Our systems have failed to adequately support moms and empower them on this life-changing journey. This is why I’m so passionate about helping new moms. My children inspire me everyday to help build a better world for their generation—so they can experience a smoother transition to parenthood, if they so choose.
Sending support to moms on Mother’s Day
To all moms, especially new moms:
Mother’s Day can be hard and bring up a lot of emotions.
The transition to motherhood is truly a marathon and it pushes us to our limits. I learn something new everyday.
When you’re getting overwhelmed, remember that this phase is temporary. Take a moment to celebrate the wins–and the many, many challenges you’ve powered through so far. Leaning into the challenges, not suppressing them, will help build confidence, resilience, and momentum to tackle the next one.
Know that it’s OK and takes courage to ask for help.
Lean on support from your village and other resources to manage the anxiety and stress that comes with motherhood (I recommend checking out Postpartum Support International and these books).
Thank you for everything you do to hold everyone else up. Please remember to take care of yourself too in the process and that you are not alone.
Happy Mother’s Day.
This blog is inspired by Colleen Temple’s article in Motherly “A Letter to My Daughter: I’m So Lucky to Be Your Mom”
