5 ways marathon training helped prepare me for motherhood

Published in Motherly on July 18, 2023

Running a marathon is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. The 26.2 miles on race day. The five long, intense months of training leading up to it. 

But despite the challenges, I absolutely love it.

I’ve learned a lot about myself. Setting and achieving goals I once thought were impossible. It’s given me mental strength and tools to not only run more races, but tackle difficult life transitions. Over the course of a decade, I completed eight more marathons. I got through new jobs, a cross-country move, breakups, and even the pandemic. 

However, my most life-changing transition was becoming a mom. 

I didn’t truly comprehend how hard it would be until I lived it. Motherhood is incredibly rewarding, but it’s also grueling and exhausting. 

Thankfully, the lessons I learned from running marathons helped me ease into this new phase of life.

1. Marathon Lesson: Make a Plan  

You can’t train for a marathon overnight. But the process is more manageable with a plan. 

A plan provides structure, breaking down the daunting goal into smaller, achievable tasks that gradually build strength and endurance for race day. Focusing on completing a 5k race first felt easier than a marathon.

I wish someone told me to make a postpartum plan. My husband and I took a 6-hour class on what to expect for labor and delivery. I spent weeks preparing the nursery. I packed my hospital bag. 

But discussing preferences and expectations for the period after birth would have been more beneficial. 

Postpartum, also referred to as the ‘fourth trimester’, comes with significant changes: physical healing for mom, learning how to care for an infant, adjusting to parenthood with your partner, and managing the new wave of household chores. It’s essential to line up support so both mom and dad have time to take care of themselves. 

Having a rough framework and considering different options can minimize surprises down the road. Planning ahead of time, ideally while you’re pregnant, reduces the mental load so you can focus on execution, especially when you’re sleep-deprived. 

Not sure how to start? Just like a running coach, doulas can help design a personalized postpartum plan based on your goals and needs. 

The first three months postpartum were the most intense and unpredictable. So being intentional in planning can lead to important discussions and decisions.  

2. Marathon Lesson: Be Flexible 

You’ve made a plan. Then something completely unexpected happens. 

During my marathon training, I faced setbacks like injuries, inclement weather and colds. It was frustrating when things didn’t go according to plan. But I couldn’t let it throw me off. I learned to adjust my mindset and response to get back on track.

When my daughter was 6 months old, I finally found my rhythm at work. Then my husband got Covid. 

Postpartum is even more uncertain than marathon training because every baby is different. But when things don’t go as planned, the same principles apply. 

First, breathe. Give yourself permission to feel disappointed, angry and frustrated. How was I going to survive five days of solo parenting while working?

Second, accept that you can’t change the situation. Move on and focus on what you can control—your attitude. Stay positive and remind yourself that it’s about achieving progress, not perfection. (I was grateful my husband’s case was mild and that I had a supportive manager. I didn’t have to be a perfect mom or employee that week. I just needed to keep my daughter healthy.) 

Finally, remember your short-term goal. Get creative on how you can still show up. To keep my daughter safe and entertained during the work day, I set up stations with her favorite toys around my office. 

I reached the end of my rope by the end of that five-day quarantine. But I came out the other side stronger. 

Resilience is like a muscle. Unexpected events are uncomfortable, but they’re temporary. They provide opportunities to grow.

3. Marathon Lesson: Listen to Your Body

This is the best advice I ever received from a running coach. 

Running took a toll on my body as I pushed myself to run more mileage each week. 

Ignoring signs of pain, stiffness and fatigue can lead to injuries, which is why rest and recovery days are essential to training plans. Muscles need time to repair.

Backing off when things don’t feel right doesn’t make you weak. It takes mental courage to respect your limits. You know your body best, so trust your intuition. The sooner you address the symptoms, the quicker you’ll recover and heal. Prevention is as key as performance. 

Childbirth also pushes your body beyond its physical limits. Many people fail to recognize that the physical demands continue well into postpartum, including the need to fully recover from birth trauma, produce enough milk, handle hormonal fluctuations and function on minimal sleep.

It’s a constant cycle of exhaustion and burnout.

It’s also normal for new moms to experience mood changes after having a baby. But many experience more severe symptoms of depression and anxiety. One in 5 mothers suffer from a perinatal mood and health disorder (PMHD). Symptoms include frequent crying, anxiety, worry, guilt, and loss of appetite. 

Unfortunately, PMHDs are not talked about enough. So listening to your body if symptoms worsen or interfere with daily functioning is critical. If something doesn’t feel right, consult a trained professional for help. A good place to start is your Ob/Gyn or Postpartum Support International’s helpline at 1-800-944-4773. 

Taking care of yourself will pay off in the long run (no pun intended). It fills your cup so you can come back even more present for your newborn. Don’t ignore the warning signs. 

4. Marathon lesson: Don’t Forget The Basics 

As a first-time runner, it’s tempting to buy fancy gear. I didn’t need to get that new Garmin GPS watch for my first marathon. I just needed to finish the race. 

What matters is going back to the basics—eating well, staying hydrated, getting plenty of sleep and minimizing stress. 

If your main goal is to bond with your baby and become the mom you want to be, the latest and greatest gear won’t matter much. 

For example, there are a lot of innovative baby products that can help make parenting easier – baby bouncers, bottle warmer, play mats, and monitors that measure heart rate while the baby is sleeping. But there’s so much out there, it’s hard to know what will actually work for you and your baby.  

What does work is direct, professional support. Instead of gifting a fancy gadget, consider creating a support fund you could use to hire resources to coach you through your postpartum experience. This may include a doula, lactation specialist, night nurse, therapist, or peer support group who can provide emotional support and teach you critical skills–like feeding, sleeping, and breastfeeding.

The best gifts I received at my baby shower were gift cards for healthy meal delivery kits and a massage.

These basic acts of self-care had far more impact in keeping me healthy and being more present for my daughter. 

5. Marathon lesson: Celebrate the Small Wins 

Running a marathon isn’t just about the race. It’s about the process. Give yourself credit, even for the small wins.

I felt stronger when I ran three miles faster than the previous week. I was grateful I took a rest day when my knee wasn’t feeling right. 

Celebrating these victories, no matter how small, enhances the overall journey. It builds confidence and momentum to take on the next challenge.  

Unlike marathons, there is no set ‘race day’ for the postpartum period. But everyone has long-term goals they care about. I cared most about when my baby would sleep through the night and when I could wean off breastfeeding.

In the early newborn days, it seemed like I’d never reach these goals. Dealing with a crying baby, waking up for middle of the night feeds, and spending hours pumping became my new norm. All I wanted was to get some sleep and have time back for myself. 

Pausing to celebrate the small wins helped. When my daughter’s first social smile came during a night feed. When she napped 15 minutes longer than the previous day. When I counted up all the hours and ounces of milk I pumped at the end of each day. 

Tracking the progress lifted me up. Take a moment and think about all the new skills you’ve learned in a short period of time. You are keeping a human alive, after all.

Motherhood is a marathon

Running a marathon and becoming a mom are two of the hardest things I’ve ever done. They are also the most rewarding experiences of my life. 

Every day postpartum was a marathon. The stakes are even higher than a race. You can’t just give up. 

The lesson I leaned on most was to be flexible. Parenting is an extremely humbling experience: When you finally feel you’ve got the schedule down, things go sideways the next day. 

You don’t have to run a marathon to benefit from these lessons. Just channel your inner coach. Take it one step at a time and just keep showing up. You are stronger than you think.